Goodbye 2012... hello 2013

I am spending the remaining hours of 2012 in my PJs with my feet up in a recliner looking out at the Smoky Mountains surrounded by great friends.  This might be the ONLY day in 2012 that I am trying to be bored, but it sounded like a terrific option to me.  Jefforey and I joined Anna and Jeremy Smith and Amberly, Kyle and Lainey Baugh for a 3 night get-a-way to the Smokies to ring in the New Year.  Today, Jefforey went with the Baughs into town to escape cabin fever with the 2 year old.  And as much as I dislike missing out on any action or anything fun… I couldn’t bear the thought of being surrounded by hoards of strangers in the Pigeon Forge outlets today.  So I am sitting my happy self here… like a knot on a log, and I’m loving every minute of it.
 

As I reflect on 2012, it has been a year of continued transition—for which I am both thankful, and ready to leave behind.  For years, I have longed to feel “settled,” and I think we are getting there, but at the same time, I have also learned in these last few years that “settled” may not be in the cards.  As I have repeated so often to remind myself… God has not called us here to be comfortable, but to be the salt and light to a dark world, which is more than likely going to be uncomfortable in every way!  In 2013, I really just want to make my agenda—follow Jesus and HIS agenda.  The end.  Pretty simple list of resolutions, when you look at it that way.  I wanted to take some time to digest the things I’ve learned from the loss I’ve experienced in 2012, and I do have some resolutions that stem from those lessons, but again… the simple resolution is—Follow Jesus.  He was the answer for the world 2000 years ago when he was born in a manger in Bethlehem, and he is STILL the answer for every single question facing our civilization today (and boy are there lots of them!)

In 2012, I left a few things behind that I loved dearly…

In March, I said “goodbye for now” to my Granddaddy.  Not a single day has gone by since that I have not thought of him and selfishly wished he were still here.  I still catch myself trying to call occasionally to tell him about my day, or to talk to him about Trace Parker.  I am most sad that Trace will never get to experience his amazing love—or his cooking.  

Because of this goodbye in 2012—I resolve in 2013 to be better at relationships.  I have a tendency to become so goal oriented, focused and driven that I forget to sit back and enjoy the people God has placed in my life.  I have to get better at this….”just being” with the ones I love.

In June, I said goodbye to my job as manager of fundraising and events for the Alabama/Mississippi chapter of the American Diabetes Association—a job and co-workers that had completed me for 3-1/2 years.  A job where I was completely and utterly satisfied… it was not perfect (as no job or anything else could be), but it was darn near close.  I loved it, and it was VERY difficult to say goodbye.  I know it was necessary to move forward, though.   I am not going to pretend that I haven’t had doubts about my transition, or pretend that I haven’t missed that job!  In the end, only God’s calling and my obedience to that call really matters.  I felt and still feel strongly that I was being called to work at Hospice of Marshall County.  Also, taking a few steps back and gaining a different perspective, I can now see that there were many things about my job at ADA that were unhealthy.  I’ve never been very good at balance, for starters.  That is no surprise to me or anyone who knows me… when I’m in—I’m all in. 

Because of this goodbye in 2012, I resolve in 2013 to not let my work define me…. To remember that I am defined as a child of the King.  I find my strength and my worth, not in the accomplishments of my employment or the approval of my superiors, but in the blood of Jesus.  I resolve to continue to passionately pursue my career “as if working for the Lord and not for men.”  While remaining passionate about my job, I want to be sure and keep my definiteness of purpose finely attuned to the word of God.

In September, I said goodbye to a new church family and areas of service that I had grown to love in a short amount of time.   I had just gotten comfortable singing in the praise band at the Church at Lake Guntersville, volunteering with the kids ministry and teaching some really awesome 3^rd grade girls in AWANA on Wednesday night.  We had gotten settled into a new home group, and we were just getting settled… when we felt a calling for a new direction.  So in September, we said hello to a new adventure as Jefforey and I accepted the position as part-time youth directors for Albertville First United Methodist Church. It is a different situation than we’ve ever been in… one that we certainly didn’t expect or even mean to pray for, but again, we believe that we are being obedient to God’s call.  Any nuances or comfort zones shifts that come along with that are secondary. In 2013, I resolve to pour my heart into this new church and move past my preconceived notions and love people where they are, for who they are.  I vow to do a better job of seeing people as God sees them—through the filter of Jesus!  We are all just a bunch of sinners saved by God’s amazing grace trying to figure things out as we go, afterall!

In December, I said goodbye to an old, dear friend in my car—Fiona.  I had received my 2000 silver Pontiac Firebird for Christmas in 2000 when I was just 15 years old.  It was the best Christmas gift ever—keys in the bottom of my stocking on Christmas morning.  What an amazing memory!!  And wow-- She was a great car… took me over 204,000 miles.  I often joked that she and I had become one.  While the driver’s seat was effectively molded to fit my rump… it had become difficult at 7 months pregnant to get in and out of her 6 inch off the ground seats! 

 As with many things in my life, it was time to step out of my comfort zone and into something new!  On December 8^th, Jefforey and I made our very first car purchase.  We found a great deal on a 2011 copper-colored Ford Explorer.  I love it!  I will love it even more when it is fixed—unfortunately within 10 days, I was in a traffic accident when a vehicle ran a red light as I was coming through it, but all is well!

Overall, 2012 was a year of big changes.  Other changes not already mentioned include the ever-changing nature of our house, which has been in pretty constant flux over 2012—new roof, new windows, new siding… the list goes on!

This shows you some history of the house...

not great quality photo, but you can see the progress-- just needs paint now!

  And obviously the biggest change has been the whole pregnancy thing.  First the miscarriage in May changed me forever.   And every single day since July 15^th (my 27^th birthday)  the joy of a (so far so good) healthy pregnancy changes me (and my waistline)in new and exciting ways!  Our whole lives will change completely in the next 3 months when Trace Parker joins our world more tangibly.  He is DEFINITELY already changing our lives—not just my eating/drinking habits and my figure J  He has become quite active in the past several weeks. There are no words to describe how cool it is to feel him react to loud noises, sweet and savory foods and his daddy’s voice.  I am so thankful that I have been given this time to get to know him in a unique way.  We have a singular opportunity to bond like no one else ever will… after all, he is the only one who knows what my heart, my voice, etc. sounds like from the inside!  I am so excited to meet him in 2013!

So while there were definitely some sad parts of 2012, over all—it was an amazing year filled with God’s blessings.  I am anxious to see what 2013 has in store! 

2012 Resolutions

It is February 20th, and sadly, it is really no surprise to me that I am JUST now getting around to reviewing my 2011 resolutions and sharing my thoughts for 2012. I have been thoughtfully planning this blog for quite some time, but as usual... I did not find the time to actually sit down and write it (see resolution #1). Truthfully, I put this off on purpose, though. I wanted to give myself a month (or so) and see how my "resolutions" were working out. I'm trying a new strategy in 2012.... less SMART (you know, specific, measurable, adaptable, and all that...) and more over-arching thematic-type resolutions. In general, I resolve to be a better me in 2012 by focusing on a couple of my weaknesses. We will see how this strategy goes. Over the year, I am planning to tweak my objectives that will show how successful or unsuccessful I have been in my "improving me" resolutions.

Last year, I was very specific with my resolutions.
1) Figure out what the heck was going on with my body and get the whole IBS madness under control.-- CHECK! I am proud to say I am much better today than I was 1 year ago. Many thanks to a certified natural health practitioner who helped me identify several stressors and food sensitivities (my doctor calls them "baby" food allergies that will unfortunately grow instead of being "grown out of")
2) Stop biting my fingernails. Now I probably didn't specifically say that name of my resolution aloud in public... actually, I know I didn't. For years, I have been positively MORTIFIED by this disgusting habit. True to form, I justified my habit as "messing with my nails" because that sounded so much more distinguished, right? ha! It was gross, and I did it without realizing it. But in 2011, thank GOD I kicked the habit. I have worked really hard to make my nails look a little more lady-like. They still aren't great, but those who know me... you know this is definitely progress worth celebrating!



I resolve to.... do the little things I enjoy more. (and NOT feel guilty about these little "guilty" pleasures)
READING AND WRITING are tops on my list. I have made strides on these two objectives/resolutions. I think I have read 8.5 books since January 1st. I find that I am happier when I am reading than almost anything else. I'm a book nerd to the extreme. I absolutely LOVE young adult novels, and I'm not going to be ashamed to admit it. I don't feel the need to impress you with my classical appreciation of literature because frankly-- I don't have any. I like all the stuff written for 13 year olds because a) it makes me happy! Generally, the good guys win... bad guys lose. We could ALL use a little more fantasy in our lives. The real world is tough enough. I am tired of feeling like I need to be reading more of ____ (fill in the blank with your reputable or ambitious literature). In 2012, I will not sneak ashamedly to the Junior reader section of the bookstore or library, but I will WALTZ with a skip in my step fully embracing my inner tween to a world that obviously doesn't exist unless that book is open. I love a good series, but I feel like I've read them all. I know there are good ones left. Please feel free to leave your suggestions in the comment section.

Ahh, which brings me to my next point. I believe that I might be able to actually have followers of this blog to give me suggestions and comments IF I updated it more than once a year! Busy, Shcmizzy! I have to find time to write again. I really enjoy it! Whether or not it is worth anyone else's time... not up to me! I have a desire to write something that makes people laugh, cry and FEEL the emotions that I feel when reading something great! I would love for God to use me in that way one day, but what in the world am I doing about it today? Currently, I'm sitting around thinking about it a lot. I say this a lot, but it's really true... people can't really tell when you think about them. I'm not saying it's a waste to think... I enjoy it! But this little extrovert needs to process aloud or on page to even understand what she is thinking. So why don't I write more? I had this same conversation with myself 2-1/2 years ago. I'm tired of talking... I'm going to start blogging more consistently....for real this time. I'm afraid to say what that means exactly, but more than twice a year. At least once a month :) hopefully getting into a rhythm of once a week minimum.


I resolve to... Be a better wife (the home-maker kind).
I am also proud to say I have definitely made progress on this front. I am NOT my sister, by any stretch of the imagination. Nor, am I going to feel guilty about God creating me just the way I am. BUT -- one day, I hope God allows us to have children. And if/when that day comes... I don't want them to be forced to eat the junk we have been eating for the past 4 years. My husband can cook. He used to out of necessity because I am a workaholic, and if he wanted to eat before he went to bed... he had to cook. Sad truth. I am working on it. This year, I have made a life-changing discovery in the Morgan household-- Crock Pot Girls! I have learned that I actually ENJOY cooking things for other people-- just not cooking for myself out of necessity. I hate to cook when I'm starving. I end up short-cutting everything or going to 1 of 3 stand-by recipes that used to be the only 3 in my arsenal. Now, thanks to the Crock-Pot Girls website, we honestly have had something different every night for a month! It's quick, easy and PERFECT for working women. Try it. You'll thank me!

I resolve to... wake up earlier. (at least on working days)
I am NOT a morning person by nature. But I also do not feel like I have enough hours in the day, which posed an interesting idea-- start the day earlier! So in 2012, I am trying my hardest to wake up earlier than I have in previous years. Generally, I am that girl that rolls out of bed (after hitting snooze at least once and then reading my emails, catching up on twitter, facebook, etc. before the actual "rolling out of bed" part) and rushes like a mad woman to get out the door 15 minutes later than I said I HAD to leave. I came to the realization one day that I am wasting a GINORMOUS amount of time "waking up"-- no mas. So far, I'm doing ok on this one. No one is more surprised than I am!

I resolve to ... be healthier! (without giving up candy or something ridiculous like that)
I have joined Powerhouse gym. I don't know how long it will last because my schedule these days is not exactly conducive to routine (see final resolution), and once baseball season officially starts... this will get even more difficult. BUT, in the 3 month membership while I have it... I am going to use it! I have discovered a love of zumba. It is so much fun!! I am also trying to reduce my dependence on caffeine and drink more water. Also, so far/so good.

I resolve to... ENJOY THE CRAZY RIDE! (in the never-ending hunt for the elusive thing called "balance")
My life is not what I would call "normal" or "settled", and I think I've persistently worn myself out looking for those adjectives! I find it comical that I am looking for more balance in my life because the more I look... the more unbalanced I seem to get. I'm giving this search over to God. He made me the crazy way that I am, and I am resolved to make the most of it. I am so fortunate to get to work from home 2 sometimes 3 days per week doing a job I absolutely LOVE. I do not necessarily love the 3 hours minimum I get to spend in the car each day heading back and forth to and from work. I also have a tendency to work too much. Working from home has provided its own set of unique challenges for a workaholic. When my office is 15 steps from my bed instead of 65-87 miles (depending if you want to travel via interstate)... it is easier to start earlier and finish later while still getting home at the same time. While that is the reality that I must live in some days... I am really trying to do more "other things" (other than work!) in 2012 so I prevent burn out and stay a little saner for the wear. I am going to love more, celebrate the small things and enjoy this beautiful life God has given me with every thing I've got!