I am spending the remaining hours of 2012 in my PJs with my
feet up in a recliner looking out at the Smoky Mountains surrounded by great
friends. This might be the ONLY day in
2012 that I am trying to be bored, but it sounded like a terrific option to me. Jefforey and I joined Anna and Jeremy Smith
and Amberly, Kyle and Lainey Baugh for a 3 night get-a-way to the Smokies to
ring in the New Year. Today, Jefforey
went with the Baughs into town to escape cabin fever with the 2 year old. And as much as I dislike missing out on any
action or anything fun… I couldn’t bear the thought of being surrounded by hoards
of strangers in the Pigeon Forge outlets today.
So I am sitting my happy self here… like a knot on a log, and I’m loving
every minute of it.
As I reflect on 2012, it has been a year of continued
transition—for which I am both thankful, and ready to leave behind. For years, I have longed to feel “settled,”
and I think we are getting there, but at the same time, I have also learned in
these last few years that “settled” may not be in the cards. As I have repeated so often to remind myself…
God has not called us here to be comfortable, but to be the salt and light to a
dark world, which is more than likely going to be uncomfortable in every
way! In 2013, I really just want to make
my agenda—follow Jesus and HIS agenda.
The end. Pretty simple list of
resolutions, when you look at it that way.
I wanted to take some time to digest the things I’ve learned from the
loss I’ve experienced in 2012, and I do have some resolutions that stem from
those lessons, but again… the simple resolution is—Follow Jesus. He was the answer for the world 2000 years
ago when he was born in a manger in Bethlehem, and he is STILL the answer for
every single question facing our civilization today (and boy are there lots of
them!)
In 2012, I left a few things behind that I loved dearly…
In March, I said “goodbye for now” to my Granddaddy. Not a single day has gone by since that I
have not thought of him and selfishly wished he were still here. I still catch myself trying to call
occasionally to tell him about my day, or to talk to him about Trace
Parker. I am most sad that Trace will
never get to experience his amazing love—or his cooking.
Because of this goodbye in 2012—I resolve in 2013 to be
better at relationships. I have a
tendency to become so goal oriented, focused and driven that I forget to sit
back and enjoy the people God has placed in my life. I have to get better at this….”just being”
with the ones I love.
In June, I said goodbye to my job as manager of fundraising
and events for the Alabama/Mississippi chapter of the American Diabetes
Association—a job and co-workers that had completed me for 3-1/2 years. A job where I was completely and utterly
satisfied… it was not perfect (as no job or anything else could be), but it was
darn near close. I loved it, and it was
VERY difficult to say goodbye. I know it
was necessary to move forward, though.
I am not going to pretend that I haven’t had doubts about my transition,
or pretend that I haven’t missed that job!
In the end, only God’s calling and my obedience to that call really
matters. I felt and still feel strongly
that I was being called to work at Hospice of Marshall County. Also, taking a few steps back and gaining a
different perspective, I can now see that there were many things about my job
at ADA that were unhealthy. I’ve never
been very good at balance, for starters.
That is no surprise to me or anyone who knows me… when I’m in—I’m all
in.
Because of this goodbye in 2012, I resolve in 2013 to not
let my work define me…. To remember that I am defined as a child of the
King. I find my strength and my worth,
not in the accomplishments of my employment or the approval of my superiors,
but in the blood of Jesus. I resolve to
continue to passionately pursue my career “as if working for the Lord and not
for men.” While remaining passionate
about my job, I want to be sure and keep my definiteness of purpose finely
attuned to the word of God.
In September, I said goodbye to a new church family and
areas of service that I had grown to love in a short amount of time. I had just gotten comfortable singing in the
praise band at the Church at Lake Guntersville, volunteering with the kids
ministry and teaching some really awesome 3rd grade girls in AWANA
on Wednesday night. We had gotten
settled into a new home group, and we were just getting settled… when we felt a
calling for a new direction. So in September,
we said hello to a new adventure as Jefforey and I accepted the position as
part-time youth directors for Albertville First United Methodist Church. It is
a different situation than we’ve ever been in… one that we certainly didn’t
expect or even mean to pray for, but again, we believe that we are being
obedient to God’s call. Any nuances or
comfort zones shifts that come along with that are secondary. In 2013, I
resolve to pour my heart into this new church and move past my preconceived
notions and love people where they are, for who they are. I vow to do a better job of seeing people as
God sees them—through the filter of Jesus!
We are all just a bunch of sinners saved by God’s amazing grace trying
to figure things out as we go, afterall!
In December, I said goodbye to an old, dear friend in my
car—Fiona.
I had received my 2000 silver
Pontiac Firebird for Christmas in 2000 when I was just 15 years old.
It was the best Christmas gift ever—keys in
the bottom of my stocking on Christmas morning.
What an amazing memory!!
And wow--
She was a great car… took me over 204,000 miles.
I often joked that she and I had become
one.
While the driver’s seat was
effectively molded to fit my rump… it had become difficult at 7 months pregnant
to get in and out of her 6 inch off the ground seats!
As with many things in my life, it was time
to step out of my comfort zone and into something new!
On December 8
th, Jefforey and I
made our very first car purchase.
We
found a great deal on a 2011 copper-colored Ford Explorer.
I love it!
I will love it even more when it is fixed—unfortunately within 10 days,
I was in a traffic accident when a vehicle ran a red light as I was coming
through it, but all is well!
Overall, 2012 was a year of big changes.
Other changes not already mentioned include
the ever-changing nature of our house, which has been in pretty constant flux
over 2012—new roof, new windows, new siding… the list goes on!
 |
| This shows you some history of the house... |
 |
| not great quality photo, but you can see the progress-- just needs paint now! |
|
And obviously the
biggest change has been the whole pregnancy thing. First the miscarriage in May changed me
forever. And every single day since
July 15th (my 27th birthday) the joy of a (so far so good) healthy
pregnancy changes me (and my waistline)in new and exciting ways! Our whole lives will change completely in the
next 3 months when Trace Parker joins our world more tangibly. He is DEFINITELY already changing our
lives—not just my eating/drinking habits and my figure J He has become quite active in the past
several weeks. There are no words to describe how cool it is to feel him react
to loud noises, sweet and savory foods and his daddy’s voice. I am so thankful that I have been given this
time to get to know him in a unique way.
We have a singular opportunity to bond like no one else ever will… after
all, he is the only one who knows what my heart, my voice, etc. sounds like from
the inside! I am so excited to meet him
in 2013!
So while there were definitely some sad parts of 2012, over
all—it was an amazing year filled with God’s blessings. I am anxious to see what 2013 has in
store!
