Are we there yet?

No.

Are we there yet?

No.

I feel like an errant child begging my Father from the backseat of a long road trip to let it be time to be at our destination-- in this case,  the arrival of my baby boy! And trust me... I'm doing my fair share of whining and begging God from the backseat.  Example #77,026 where I am not in control... God is.  (You'd think I'd learn this lesson by now... man, am I a stubborn child!)

The calendar says we are 38 weeks pregnant today, and boy am I ready! Patience has never been my strongest virtue.  To think I even feel the need to say that out loud is laughable... anyone that knows me has more than likely never listed me on their "most patient people" list!  I wish I were more patient, and I really do try, but it definitely isn't something that comes naturally for me.  If you EVER see that fruit of the spirit in me-- it's because of the Holy Spirit working an overtime miracle that day!

It's not that I'm that tired of being pregnant, although, according to Jefforey.. we "have to be at least 12 months pregnant by now."  Which truthfully, including the miscarriage...I've been pregnant like 11 of the last 12 months.  If I'm being honest... I am a little ready to have my body back.  I'm ready to have my foods and beverages of choice again.  Oh how I miss sushi.  And Dr. Pepper.... and a looong list of other items on the "no fly list" while pregnant.

It's not even that every single conversation I have throughout the course of a day begins, consists of, ends and completely revolves around "When is Trace Parker going to get here?"  or "How are you feeling?"  Although, admittedly... that does get a bit old!  But it's not like I can blame people... it is on my mind 24/7!  It's becoming increasingly difficult to get anything accomplished because I am thinking about him constantly!  Up until yesterday, I have (thankfully) been so busy with work, that I haven't had much time to dwell on the fact that I'm about to have a baby.  I was managing our biggest event of the year, and I was just praying that Trace would wait a few more days so I could attend it!  Now that we've made it through the Race to Remember, I having a bit of a tougher time staying focused on ANYTHING but BABY!

I am mostly ready to have this baby boy because I am dying to meet him!  I feel like I just can't wait another second to see his face in the flesh instead of on some creepy ultrasound machine or alien-esque 4D photo. I am longing to hear him cry and smell his sweet baby fragrance, not the artificial imitation that is his closet (which I sneak into at least 5 times a day just to sniff!).  I am honestly just ready to know he is here and healthy.  Everyone tells me that the worrying has just begun, that you really never stop this constant thinking of your kid business.  Hooey.  At least when he is HERE, I can lay eyes on him and see that he's still breathing. There is so much faith involved in this whole pregnancy process...  So many scary things that can happen.  I'm not proud of this, but I am admitting to you that I have really struggled with worry lately.  Apparently, that comes with the territory, but I don't want to accept that.  Sin is sin, and no amount of "mommy justification" will change that -- worry is NOT from God!

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you;my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

If I am constantly worried about the health and safety of this child, am I really being a good example of God's peace?  What does my worry say to others about my faith?!  I called to make an appointment with my tax preparer, and God used that gentleman on the phone to bring this issue to my attention, he must have been able to hear the anxiety about the arrival of our son.  He asked, "Are you my sister in Christ?"  I said, "Yes, sir!" He said, "Well then just declare and proclaim a healthy, safe baby and delivery. No need to worry!" And I thought... Right you are, Mr. Tax-Preparer-appointment-taker guy! Right you are!

How many times does the Lord tell us not to worry throughout Scripture?!  Tons of times.  I found an encouraging post about worry that you can check out for more examples than I've listed below.

Isaiah 43:1-3  But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob,  he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...

I often use this verse on baby door hangers.  It's a beautiful image, but it's not just pretty-- it's TRUTH!  It's the promise of God!  We have been redeemed!  We are claimed by the Maker of the Universe.  He called us by name!  He promises to be with us and tells us not to fear.  Who am I not to listen to that direct command!  Forgive me, Lord!

Hebrews 13:6 So we can confidently say,  “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

It is time that I start living on faith and confidently saying The Lord is my helper whom/what then shall I fear?! Thank God that He never lets go of me...even when I am a wimp and get lost in the seas of worry!  Praise God that He brings us through storms and challenges and allows us to rest in His incredible peace!

Psalm 118:24- "This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I've also been convicted about my change in focus lately and about my whining, complaining and begging God to let it be time already!  I want to stay focused on the reason I was made-- to bring glory to God in all that I say and do.  If I'm constantly questioning (see: begging/whining) the timing of my son's arrival... am I really living with an attitude of gratitude for all I've been given?  Am I really rejoicing in the day the Lord has made?  Sadly, no.

Habakkuk 2:3-

For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
    it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
    it will surely come; it will not delay.

Verse 4 in Habakkuk 2 says (From the Message) “Look at that man, bloated by self-importance—
    full of himself but soul-empty.
But the person in right standing before God
    through loyal and steady believing
    is fully alive, really alive. 

If I am waiting on this vision to become a reality, and I'm focused on ME.. the trivial things that are important to me.... I become full of my selfish desires.  When we're full of ourselves, we can't be full of God.  I loved how The Message put this verse ... "through loyal and steady believing we can be fully alive, REALLY alive!"  That's good stuff!

Ecclesiastes 3 (From the Message)
¹⁴ I’ve also concluded that whatever God does, that’s the way it’s going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God’s done it and that’s it. That’s so we’ll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear. (emphasis is mine)

¹⁵ Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That’s how it always is with God.

Yep, right again... God's timing is perfect.  That has been SOO easy to say, and lots "less easy" to really believe or live out lately.  I've decided today that I am going to stop begging Trace to come and start rejoicing in the time that I have left with this little buddy in my womb.  I'm going to celebrate this special time because it's the last precious time that it will be just us!  While I still kind of hope that Trace will subscribe to the good ole Camp War Eagle mantra, "Early is on time. On time is late.  Late is unacceptable."  More importantly, I'm going to rest in the comforting peace and knowledge that my God has this thing under control, and Trace will arrive safely at His appointed hour, which will be just the way it should be!

Your prayers are appreciated!